how im feelin:
doing: coding n sleeping
playing: nothin
watching: markiplier
listening: angel by massive attack
alright! hello! i just finished making this page so i can finally type in it! alright,,,what to talk about now? hmm, ive been listening to sad music recently. i wish to be that kinda person whos depressed yet active,, thats the most i can ask for realistically. i restarted my blog because i was just not impressed by what i was writing, ive been reading other peoples blogs n stuff and i couldnt help but feel mine was lackluster,,, i want to write about more interesting things! yet i almost have nothing going on in my life, at least thats what it feels like... i want people to know me more if they so desire. i want it to be personal, not just superficial things yknow? since i love seeing that in other peoples blogs i want to try it out myself, whats the point of a blog if not to be personal? but its hard for me to write about myself, ive noticed that alot. i get that feeling when i see other people say that, like "oh sure, it must be easy!" but its really not,,,, i think i have a weird way of typing too... i try my absolute best to be polite and kind online but thats just not how i talk irl. im much more brash tbh. hmmm, im too people pleasing i think. its very easy to do online so im quite enamored by people who are generally kind but are still firm or just any different from me honestly. the reason i used to write the way i did was because i feel weird about people i know irl to see it... its easier to be open online than irl i find even though i stuggle with both. how nice this feels,,, heh, this page is very refreshing too! a change of pace it is. ive worked on it for two days now. i wish i was this productive with the actually important things in my life,,,, ive never felt this way about anything else other than coding. im so glad i got introduced to it :') but its taken up so much of my life i forget about everything else that im actually supposed to do. im mainly talking about school and hygiene. ughh sometimes i feel bad about having such an all encompassing hobby like this, what did i ever do without it? also a change of the topic im using words i dont normally use rn,,, and it turns out im better at spelling than i thought! heh, at least i got something good going on,,, um, how am i supposed to know when to end a blog post? i guess ive talked enough...